questions

A Friend Shannon put this on a facebook page, well the questions anyway and i thought well why not..im going to answer them lol...this is not meant to be "real" its funny and yup 

what else can you do but make fun of the questions really...

‎1 Why, Why, Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?  Well why shouldnt i, i want the tv to go and i have no batteries to replace them...how else am i meant to watch my shows....


2 Why do banks charge a fee due to insufficient funds when they already know you're broke? Cause they like to make you broker


3 Why is it that when someone tells you that there are one billion stars in the universe, you believe them but, if they tell you there is wet paint, you have to touch it to check? Cause i cant touch the darn sky can i? or even count them well i have tried...as for touching wet paint cant say i have...silly people


4 Why do they use sterilized needles for lethal injections? Well  i guess they dont want them getting infection while dying?


5 Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Why would he? beards are gross


6 Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him? Well why would you throw a revolver anyway what is that going to do......plus he is bullet proof not revolver proof


7 Why did Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? In case they hurt their heads?


8 Whose cruel idea was it to put an "s" in the word "lisp"? The person that wanted to watch people with a lisp have trouble saying "i have a lisp" hehe thinking about it now...i wanna find someone with a lisp to say lisp


9 If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes? well there was a boy ape and a girl ape who forgot to evolved with the rest of the crowd, hence we have apes still, they couldnt let the apes die out...


10 Why is it that, no matter what colour bubble bath you use, the bubbles are always white? its call false hope:( i always hope for a different colour bubble even though i know it will NEVER happen


11 Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale? They go on sale?


12 Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? Because something ALWAYS pops up and you go o yea i can eat that..of course that is after the 10th visit to the fridge


13 Why do people run over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance? hehe i do this all the time...why...well because i can and i want the vacuum cleaner to win not the piece of string


14 Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the first end you try? cant say i have had this problem....sorry


15 How do those dead bugs get into enclosed light fixtures? who knows would you like me to ask the dead bugs?


16 When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart, then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right"? Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That really hurt, why don't you watch where you're going you stupid twit?" we are meant to live in a polite world...maybe, i guess...who knows...


17 Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over? i dont knock something else when im catching something, i tend to hurt myself alot instead:(


18 Why, in winter, do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat? because i HATE the cold but i dont tend to mind summer...mmm summer, can i have summer back please ITS TOO COLD


19 How come you never hear father-in-law jokes? Maybe they dont piss us off as much as mother-in-laws?





21 The statistics on sanity say that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. 
If they're OK, then it's you Its ok i always knew i had a mental illness, its called going insane...


Want to join me in the insane world?