Good Bye (about death)

Well Sat13th August 2011 i found out my cousin Phil had killed himself, very sad indeed..

Headed up to the police station with other family members then to the morg later on.

I didnt believe it was true till i actually saw him.

(I have written a letter to Phil but thats after the photos at the bottom)

Phil is the 6th cousin out of 9 of us, 21 years old and born on xmas day..every xmas we had a birthday cake for him aswell...this xmas will surly be different but we will get though it, will be sad but we will think of those times you were there with us.

Being a close family meant school holidays we were all together, playing games outside annoying the neighbours, making noise, jumping fences, and of course making those huts in the back room at nans.

You know what, on xmas 2009 we decided on getting a photo of the family together as that year was going to be the last year all in the same place for xmas, as family members move for study or other reasons.

Here are photos we took

neat huh..

Well RIP Phil, i love you lots and you will very much be missed

Dear Phil

I saw you lying there looking all beaten with a fat lip, black eye and a few cuts, your hair of course was done the way you do it very neat and tidy indeed. There is so many whys and they will never been answered but no point in asking them over and over again...one day this will get easier but for the meantime its one foot in front of the other, tears rolls down my face while i write to you, knowing you are somewhere you feel safe now well i hope so anyway and for a reason noone will ever know...i just sit here and wish you could talk to someone about whatever was troubling you, whatever you were thinking...but i do hope you have now found peace.

You are my cousin and forever will be, that would never change no matter what, but what does change is we wont get another birthday with you, will never see you marry, you wont travel with us...you being only 21, had a good 21st i believe sadly i couldnt be there for it as i had sick kids..i think the last time i actually saw you hugged you was at the kids christening on the 5th June 2011, but i did speak to you on facebook we were talking about you getting an id card for the navy gates so you could get on and do some work...

the last post i commented on was a post you put up on 11 aug 2011 was ........ ..... well it was a hangman game wasnt it, noone clicked for anything we just played the game...

I guess its all done now and there is nothing we can say or do to bring you back as much as we would like you to just wake up...its all real, not a dream.

Love you Phil and always will

R.I.P

Phillip Bailey

13.08.2011